Introduction

So that's her.. the girl I've been given the task to remove from my brain. So seemingly impossible when it first happened. She was off in Italy, I was in my hometown, waiting for her to come back. We talked about marriage. I thought that this was the girl that I would be with for the rest of my life. A thought that would be turned completely upside down before I could even stop it. I won't get into the sloppy details of everything, but suffice to say that this girl was the best girl I've ever dated. Not that my history is filled with a ton of girls that I've dated. As a matter of fact, this is the longest of my relationships at 8 months.



That's me. Just turned twenty-five. Turned out to be a lonely birthday. Fortunately it marked the end of my suffering at her hands. I did something stupid though. I sent her that email. You know the one I'm talking about girls, the one that at least one of the guys that you've dated sends you at some point. The one that begs and pleads to get back together. Ya, that one. That was me. A day before my birthday, I sent that email to the girl above. How retarded was I? Surprisingly enough, it had the polar opposite effect than I thought it would. Rather then bring me down further, it kind of sealed away the feelings I have for her, right now, they seem to be gone. Thank God. I can honestly say that right now, I harbor no resentment towards her. Though that was not the case on Monday.

You see, the weekend after I sent that email, I waited for her after work. Ya, we work together, how fucked up is that. But anyways, I waited for her, to ask if she'd read my email. She said she hadn't. I knew better. Pardon, I know better, but whatever. Girls, seriously, even if it hurts the guy, don't fuckin lie to us. That just makes it worse.

So anyways, we began talking. I told her I still liked her, wanted to work things out, yknow the typical bullshit that guys that dont know how to deal with things fire away to try and get their girl back. Of course, these all met deaf ears. As I'm about to turn and walk away, she said to me...

"Yknow, Steve, you were the nicest guy I've ever dated." Gee, thanks. Thanks for the pity party for me, as if I wasn't feeling bad enough already. So ya, that kind of set me off. I asked her why then, if that was the case, that we weren't working on getting back together. Why did I wait for you for 3 months while you ran around in Italy? Why do I have an entire folder of your emails telling me how much you love me, telling me how you can't wait to get back in my arms, telling me how your so glad that your man is waiting for you to come back home. I was pretty irate. I told her that she led me on (which by the way, if you ever happen to read this, you did and you should own up to what you did to me, rather then avoiding all responsibility for what you've done). She didn't like that. Basically end of the deal. I walked away. She drove away. I'll see you tomorrow at work.

Normal guys would be pissed if this happened to them. Not me though. Admittedly, at first, I was pissed. Then I thought about it for a minute and I realized that after two months of being without her and drowning myself in my own sorrows and whatever alcohol I could get my hands on, I don't need her anymore. I DONT NEED YOU ANYMORE. Not even a little. You did it, you finally broke your own grip you had on me. I can honestly say that I feel nothing of the love I had for you a week ago. Something finally clicked and your gone from my feelings. I put you on the shelf everytime you pop into my head now. So, thank you. Thank you for helping me realize that you are not the be all end all of my relationships. Thank you for helping me realize that there are girls that are FAR better then you out there for me. Thanks for that. Good luck with whatever it is you find yourself messed up in next.

So, Introduction, as is the title of this post. This blog will be about me. About what I encounter on an everyday basis and about the thoughts that roam into my brain. I don't know that anyone I know will ever read this, or if anyone period will ever read this, but if you do, and you enjoy what you've read, good, I hope you'll come back.

For now, I hope you enjoyed this commentary on my past relationship, I reserve the right to talk about it again at anytime and for any reason. I apologize in advance.

-Guy